Who I am: First and foremost I am a child of the Most High God… more about what that means later and how I learned to know just how loved I am by my Father in Heaven.
I am also a wife to Dr. Daniel Pompa which is my second most meaningful role of significance in which I have supported him though thick and thin and encouraged him when times have seemed beyond comprehension and certainly without understanding or explanation.
I am a mother of 5…3 boys that I have personally given birth to (now 17, 15 and 11) and a set of twins (now 19) that God birthed the “new me” through and a most incredible journey including (but not limited to my mantra) From Pain To Purpose (merily-pompa.blogspot.com).
Why I exist is something I have had tremendous reasons to think about and this is where I stand within my heart and mind (the one topic I have total congruency on): So others may experience faith, freedom, and truth by encouraging and overcoming rather than accepting limiting beliefs and adversities as something that will just eventually end (while wiping their brow and considering it as just a rear view). I believe in a much more proactive approach to the challenges we often face in life…and that being to give us greater purpose, greater impact in a hurting world, and greater gratitude and faith in a Living God Who loves to rescue His children from the evils in this world while reminding us that His ways are always infinitely better than ours.
I believe by trusting in our struggles and the battles we face for their intended purposes (which is beyond anything we can imagine), we find our true selves. We begin to learn that we think in ways that are limiting to ourselves and consequently to those God has in our lives to influence. Within those adversities, we must confront our childhood experiences (or lack of) and begin to embrace and forgive ourselves for what each of us wishes we were. If we do not have that emotion of understanding and move passed it, then we are most likely holding pride more valuable than the more often needed true self-assessment from which we can ourselves overcome our own limiting beliefs.
Confronting our internal understanding is often having to admit that our translation of living out our adversity for its intended meaning may be something we understand but have difficulty releasing ourselves to. There is a freedom that manifests itself when we realize we do not have it all figured out and we need help and direction. There is also a “magic” that occurs when we do this in concert to our relationship with God.
Never have I become more self aware than when I began replacing my own understandings with yielding to this possibility… which began to reveal something I desperately needed to overcome which was the perspective about my challenges and how it was affecting the roles God had called me to. It was at that exact moment of acceptance/yielding to God’s ways being better/higher than my own that enabled me to understand myself even more. It was then that I stopped pretending to be the image I saw of myself and with more forgiveness and clarity, I accepted myself just as I was and asked God to show me myself… the one that He saw. In other words, I had to start accepting the limiting belief I had of who I presented was all there was to me and everyone else needed to change to suit my paradigm…and WHEN this would happen, all would be well.
After nearly a decade of feeling squeezed beyond recognition, as well as detesting self-pity, I had to face some realities of what was happening as a self-preservation mechanism. Pain gets hidden amidst the challenges. Uncovering the root reveals the bare soil which can then fertilize our lives when we till it. Till is defined: To prepare (land) for the raising of crops, as by plowing and harrowing; cultivate. Once I set my eyes on the desires of my heart, the challenges within my head began to make sense. There is a great vision that I have… and that is to lead people to truth, hope, opportunity, growth and investment of their energy for the lives they are called to live. There is so much competing for that focus…and much of it is just plain BS and oftentimes lies that we must manage because how that is interpreted affects the quality of our very existence.
I believe my journey can be of value to others. I learned many years ago that God does not waste our pain. If we desire to know Him and His desires for our lives more, there are many ways within this life to do so and one is through the experiences of others.
I have toughened up a bit through my journey and having had my character attacked is something I had an extremely difficult time processing. This occurred shortly after we adopted the twins. This is something I didn’t ever think I would understand and may never fully, but I truly believe it is what I needed in order to rise to my own call that God has for my life and not just as a wife and a mother but also as His child in relationship to his desire for my life beyond just “mom” and “Merily.” Due to that experience, and how much pain it caused, I realized I had a choice: I could either become bitter… or I could become better. I chose the latter.
I have watched God take my husband’s challenges and unite them to His purpose. Within that process, there is an emotional and intellectual reality that has become inseparable to the struggle. And as true as that is, it often takes time to process. It has been nearly 15 years since my husband first got sick and almost 13 since I welcomed a set of 7 year old twins into my home after tragedy struck my family and I lost my very best friend (their mom).
I have raised a family within this pain and trauma and I believe I have some wisdom to share. I also have a perspective for truth that oozes from my pores as I watch this world suffering with minutia that is dwelled upon to the point of removing freedoms that we never had to fight for or be threatened with losing. I want to scream: “Focus on what matters!! Without freedom, the minutia will be of no concern anyway.
Within this blog, I intend to speak truth (do my very best to do so in love but apologize in advance for my directness if it doesn’t read gently…one of the areas I am currently working on). I hope that you engage and let me know if this investment of my time and energy is of value to you personally, but most likely, I will press on, because releasing my frustration through writing is something I learned several years ago is one of the ways God has given me to heal… it is also one of the ways God uses me to encourage others.
The topics I plan to write about are topics God has either given me victory in or a clarity of and I am still very much invested into the journey to victory. My husband came home from Africa with a saying he learned from the people: “In order to have authority, you must first have victory.” I am destined and determined to be an overcomer and I hope to appeal to those who have that same heart but are perhaps struggling with the injustice of life. To that reality I can only say: “Get over it.” Life isn’t fair. It never will be. The outcome of your own should not be determined by what others have done to you.
Part of the success of life is having being lived in full awareness and not just in busyness; which usurps our ability to see clearly because we do not have the time to invest into ourselves and focus on what needs to change for a richer and more satisfying life. I also put a huge emphasis on having fun. Balancing/juggling/scrambling is much better when it is done with energy directed toward those people and activities and interests that will refresh and renew your spirit. I believe if more people identified their purpose and lived for it…those that you naturally enjoy will then begin to show up. Finding purpose and pleasure is necessary…especially as life inevitably takes over and we are no longer in the driver’s seat.
I hope to prick your hearts and minds and give you a different perspective than one that may come naturally. It doesn’t surprise me that it is so difficult today to stir people’s consciences but it definitely does frustrate me. With that said, if the shoe fits… WEAR IT!!
…and how will you know unless you try it on for size??